holidays Archives - Happy Healthy Kids

12 Healthy Gift Ideas

December 13, 2016 by Kelley 1 Comment

When considering our nearest and dearest at the holidays, we’d all like to find a happy medium between passing off a plastic gift card and spending a hair-raising amount of time or money for the sake of “meaning.” Enter what I’ll call a “healthy gift”—an easy little something that helps a loved one feel, look, or do better; and, ideally, keeps on giving throughout the coming year. I tapped some of the doctors and wellness gurus whose advice we’ve shared on this blog to share their favorite healthy gifts to give in 2017. Hope you can find something for a special someone—including, maybe, you.

For your neighbor…
Instead of a cookie platter, dietitian and fitness trainer Dana White, R.D. likes to give homemade flavorings that people can use to make a recipe taste even more delicious. Her two favorites, that are super-easy to make but have a big “wow” factor: Homemade vanilla extract and rosemary-citrus sea salt. She packages the vanilla extract with her pumpkin chocolate chip muffin recipe, and the gourmet salt with her “ready-in-minutes” baked sweet potato chip recipe.
Get Dana’s vanilla extract recipe here and pumpkin-chocolate chip recipe here. Be sure to order small food-grade bottles in advance. You can get them at craft stores or 12 for $16 at Amazon.
Get Dana’s rosemary-citrus sea salt recipe here and baked sweet potato chip recipe here.

For elementary schoolers…
Balance toys promote all-important core strength, keep children active inside or out, and are unique in that they actually keep kids interest as they grow. Curt Hinson, Ph.D., founder of the Dr. Recess program encouraging more effective and creative physical fitness in schools, has two faves:
Teeter Popper: Kids can sit or stand on the treads, and rocking motion makes for cool suction noises on pavement $35 at Amazon.
Spooner Board: Kids can master tricks on this wide balance board, and get a jump start on the core movements they need to master surfing, skateboarding, or snowboarding. $45 at Fat Brain Toys.

For big kids…
Yale Pediatric Sleep Center director Craig Canapari, M.D. has written on here and on his phenomenal blog about how crucial rest is for kids and grown-ups alike. But due to anxiety, hormonal shifts, or noisy households, many kids have sleep problems that develop or persist beyond their baby years. For them (or sleep-deprived adults), “you can’t beat a Marpac sound conditioner,” says Dr. Canapari. Appropriately tech-y-looking for discerning older children, the domed device emits the soothing, consistent sound of gentle rushing air, with customizable tone and volume control. Marpac Dohm All-Natural White Noise Sound Machine, $45-50 at Amazon.

For ‘tweens and teens…
It may be infuriating, but it’s natural and even healthy for teens to crave some space from parents and younger siblings. For Two Peds in a Pod pediatricians and moms Julie Kardos, M.D. and Julie Kardos, M.D., a well-received gift for this age group are tools that honor their desire for privacy—”within reason.” Along with journals that can lock and remote controls that allow kids to put out their own light before putting themselves to bed, Drs. Kardos and Lai like bedroom doorbells that can attach to the outside of teens’ doors. Girlz Own Bedroom Doorbell, $13, Amazon.

For a sister or best friend…
When life feels like a closed circuit board of family and work, a great gift is something pampering and utterly self-involved. New York City dermatologist and mom of three, Julie Karen, M.D., of CompleteSkinMd, tries and tests hundreds of products, and is head-over-heels right now with one in particular: Alastin Restorative Eye Treatment. “This peptide rich cream is very hydrating, helps diminish undereye dark circles and puffiness, and also has the unique ability to stimulate new healthy elastic tissue,” she says. Alastin Restorative Eye Treatment, $85, CompleteSkinMD.

For your mom…
The growing season doesn’t have to end with the cold weather. Gardening guru Marion Mass suggests giving anyone who appreciates nature (and healthy eating) a “sprouting kit” to grow salad- and smoothie-friendly microgreens on the windowsill. You can buy a complete kit, like the one below), or give a cute, small container and seeds separately. Include a written or e-card with a link to Marion’s how-to on kitchen gardening: http://www.chicksforlife.com/videos-pxhnf. The Simply Good Box by Home Greens, $28, Amazon.

For your significant other…
“My favorite suggestion is to give a gift that does not involve a material possession but that involves growth,” says Ellen Braaten, Ph.D., director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) at the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital. Classes in a budding hobby or a personal passion, like cooking, can be a real treat. You can pick a Sur La Table specialty class in a fave topic—cookies to roasts—in many different culinary areas in 22 states. Sur La Table cooking classes, surlatable.com

For anyone…
A totally free and meaningful gift that family members can give one another is a handwritten gift certificate for a gesture or service that only they can provide, says Erica Reischer, Ph.D., a psychologist and parenting coach and author of What Great Parents Do: 75 Simple Strategies for Raising Kids Who Thrive. “One might say, “when presented with this certificate, mom or dad will put down their phone (or get off their computer) and spend time with me,” suggests Dr. Reischer. Other ideas: a 10-minute back massage before bed, a round of a favorite board game, or help with a house project that’s been back-burnered. What’s more: Honor it—and your loved one—with your full attention when it’s cashed in.

Photo credit: Dana White

Healthy New Year’s Resolutions for Kids

December 29, 2015 by Kelley 1 Comment

In late December, on one of the family walks we try to do around our local pond every weekend, my husband and I share our New Year’s resolutions with our kids—and prompt them to share theirs. But usually, little boys’ resolutions are either overly specific (“I won’t trip my little brother near that big rock again”) or overly broad (“I will be good”). But this year I will be able to provide some guidance, courtesy of the American Academy of Pediatrics, who recommends these ideas for preschoolers through high schoolers.

Preschoolers

I will clean up my toys by putting them where they belong.
I will let my parents help me brush my teeth twice a day. I will wash my hands after going to the bathroom and before eating.
I will help clear the table when I am done eating.
I will be friendly to all animals. I will remember to ask the owners if I can pet their animal first.
I will be nice to other kids who need a friend or look sad or lonely.
I will talk with my parent or a trusted adult when I need help or am scared.

Kids, 5 to 12 years old

I will drink reduced-fat milk and water every day, and drink soda and fruit drinks only at special times.
I will take care of my skin by putting on sunscreen before I go outdoors on bright, sunny days. I will try to stay in the shade whenever possible and wear a hat and sunglasses, especially when I’m playing sports.
I will try to find a sport (like basketball or soccer) or an activity (like playing tag, jumping rope, dancing or riding my bike) that I like and do it at least three times a week!
I will always wear a helmet when riding a bike, scooter or skateboard.
I will wear my seat belt every time I get in a car. I’ll sit in the back seat and use a booster seat until I am tall enough to use a lap/shoulder seat belt.
I’ll be friendly to kids who may have a hard time making friends by asking them to join activities such as sports or games.
I will always tell an adult about any bullying I may see or hear about to help keep school safe for everyone.
I will keep my personal information safe and not share my name, home address, school name or telephone number on the Internet. Also, I’ll never send a picture of myself to someone I chat with on the computer without asking my parent if it is okay.
I will try to talk with my parent or a trusted adult when I have a problem or feel stressed.
I promise to follow our household rules for videogames and internet use.

Kids, 13 years old and older

I will try to eat two servings of fruit and two servings of vegetables every day, and I will drink sodas only at special times.
I will take care of my body through physical activity and eating the right types and amounts of foods.
I will choose non-violent television shows and video games, and I will spend only one to two hours each day – at the most – on these activities. I promise to follow our household rules for videogames and Internet use.
I will help out in my community – through giving some of my time to help others, working with community groups or by joining a group that helps people in need.
When I feel angry or stressed out, I will take a break and find helpful ways to deal with the stress, such as exercising, reading, writing in a journal or talking about my problem with a parent or friend.
When faced with a difficult decision, I will talk about my choices with an adult whom I can trust.
When I notice my friends are struggling, being bullied or making risky choices, I will talk with a trusted adult and attempt to find a way that I can help them.
I will be careful about whom I choose to date, and always treat the other person with respect and without forcing them to do something or using violence. I will expect to be treated the same way in return.
I will resist peer pressure to try tobacco-cigarettes, drugs or alcohol. I will also avoid the use of e-cigarettes.
I agree not to use a cellphone or text message while driving and to always use a seat belt.

See more at AAP.com. And best wishes to all of our phenomenal followers for a healthy and happy 2016! Thanks so much for your support.

Holiday Goal #3: Be Kinder to Yourself

December 11, 2015 by Kelley Leave a Comment

As we go full-steam into the busy holiday season, we’re featuring guest posts from three wellness professionals who specialize in helping parents feel more centered and energized. On January 23, coaches Cory Halaby and Molly Maguire Shrewsberry and nutritionist Stacy Kennedy are also leading the Wellesley Wellness Retreat, where they’ll teach moms strategies for self-care and managing family life all year long. If you live anywhere near the Boston area, register now for the morning program as well as yoga, private coaching sessions, nutritional counseling, and massage in the afternoon. It’s sure to be a motivational and relaxing day.

In the final post of the week, wellness coach Molly Shrewsberry reminds us to be kind to just about the last person on our minds this month: ourselves. Molly is a health and wellness coach and creator of Love Well Live Well, a blog platform focused on the role of self-love and its impact on overall health and wellness.

During the holidays we tend to be extra hard on ourselves. The expectations we set are high: mailing out the perfect card, starting new traditions, attending every event we are invited to (and making sure we bring a delicious dish), finding meaningful gifts for all on our list, and creating a blissful atmosphere filled with nothing but positive, happy memories for our children.

These unrealistic expectations often end with disappointment, mixed with more than a few moments of guilt, negative self-talk, guilt, comparing, stress, irritation—and did I mention guilt?

This year, instead of giving into the madness, why not focus instead on giving yourself the gift of self-compassion. Parenting is hard work everyday, but extra challenging during the holidays. You are doing an amazing job…no matter how many things haven’t seemed to go your way or how long your to-do list is.

And when it comes to gifts for other people, let me simplify it for you: When it comes down to it, YOU are what people—in particular, your kids—want for the holidays. Spending time with mom and dad is more important to them than the toys on their list (as much as it doesn’t seem that way!) Don’t believe me? Watch this video. It’s a tear-jerker and great reminder.

As an added bonus, when you give yourself a break—and focus on things you need to do to be, above all, present and happy—you give the gift of modeling self-compassion for your kids. There’s nothing better than that.

How to start being more compassionate to yourself this month? Dr. Kristin Neff, the self-compassion guru, breaks this down to three elements.

1. Self-Kindness: “Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating ourselves with self-criticism.” Be gentle with yourself, like you would someone close to you. If your friend told you she wasn’t going to mail out holiday cards, you wouldn’t make her feel ashamed about it. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can.

2. Common Humanity: Parenting is filled with inadequacies and they tend to be over-exaggerated during the holidays. Not to mention the childhood memories and feelings that come up. The good news is that you are not alone! Everyone struggles and nobody is perfect. It’s what makes being human so amazing. Getting in touch with a friend who can relate will take you out of your “everyone else is perfect” mentality and bring you back to reality. I love laughing with friends about our shortcomings and mistakes. Friends also help to bring perspective. Do you really have it so bad? With the busyness, it’s easy to lose sight of what we really want to gain from the holiday season. It’s helpful to step back and think, “What do I want my children to look back and remember from the holidays?” I’m guessing it won’t be toys and a stressed-out mom!

3. Mindfulness: Mindfulness is a beautiful balance of acknowledging your feelings, but not focusing on the negative. Being mindful makes it easier to acknowledge your feelings and negative self-talk, realize you are not alone and remember the steps to be kind to yourself.

Now, you that you know the three components of self-compassion, here’s how to implement it into your life this month. When you’re exhausted, have a to-do list a mile long and have just yelled like a crazy person at your kids (again) for fighting and not listening to you, find a quiet few minutes and try this Self-Compassion Break Exercise: Realize this is a moment of suffering that is painful; remember suffering is a part of life; and then put your hands over your heart and feel the warmth of your hands on your chest.

With your hand over your heart, say to yourself phrase or two along the lines of “may I be kind to myself.” Here is one a loving-kindness meditation to try:

May I be filled with love.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.

It’s amazing how things shift when we are as compassionate to ourselves, as we are with others.

Here’s to a self-compassionate, loving and accepting holiday…. however it may turn out!

—Molly

To find out more about the Wellesley Wellness Retreat and register yourself or a loved one, go to the website here. The event will be on January 23, with morning and afternoon sessions.

Holiday Goal #2: Fill Up on Feel-Good Foods

December 9, 2015 by Kelley Leave a Comment

As we go full-steam into the busy holiday season, we’re featuring guest posts from three wellness professionals who specialize in helping parents feel more centered and energized. On January 23, coaches Cory Halaby and Molly Shrewsberry and nutritionist Stacy Kennedy are also leading the Wellesley Wellness Retreat, where they’ll teach moms strategies for self-care and managing family life all year long. If you live anywhere near the Boston area, register now for the morning program as well as yoga, private coaching sessions, nutritional counseling, and massage in the afternoon. It’s sure to be a motivational and relaxing day. Consider it a holiday gift to yourself—and your loved ones.

Today, I got some major motivation from Stacy Kennedy, MPH, RD, a nutritionist at Dana Farber-Brigham and Women’s Cancer Center in Boston as well as a licensed personal trainer and fitness instructor. Stacy is featured in the award-winning documentary, Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead and works as the nutritionist for its affiliated company, Reboot with Joe. While many of us think of this month as a free pass to indulge in the snacks and sweets of the season, Stacy makes a case for trying to eat healthier than ever. Here are her top-four strategies—and some delicious nourishing recipes.

Hydrate with herbs. Choose a calming herbal tea over that extra cappuccino. Excessive caffeine can ramp up heart rate and contribute to feeling stressed and jittery. Herbal teas like ginger and lemon or chamomile help warm you up, keep you hydrated, and may exert calming effects.

Go for greens. Magnesium rich foods like kale, Swiss chard, collards and mustard greens can all help to regulate metabolism and stress hormones. Try a Roasted Pumpkin Salad, Green Smoothie, or Hearty but Healthy Soup.

Pick potassium. Foods naturally high in potassium like bananas in this Cinnamon Chai Protein Smoothie, avocado in these Fresh Veggie Enchiladas, sweet potato like these simple, tasty “fries”, and winter squash in this Harvest Cinnamon Spice Juice can help keep blood pressure in check.

Sip while shopping. Bring a juice or smoothie to sip on while shopping, and eat a healthy snack before heading out to work, errands, or your third holiday pageant of the week. Whether you’re shopping or attending one of the many events sprinkled throughout the season, there are rich and extreme calorie laden snacks everywhere. The fuller on nutrients you are, the better you’ll feel; more energized and resilient to resist temptation or at least make wise choices.

—Stacy

To find out more about the Wellesley Wellness Retreat and register yourself or a loved one, go to the website here. The event will be on January 23, with morning and afternoon sessions.

Holiday Goal #1: Find Real Joy

December 7, 2015 by Kelley Leave a Comment

As we go full-steam into the busy holiday season, we’re featuring guest posts from three wellness professionals who specialize in helping parents feel more centered and energized. On January 23, coaches Cory Halaby and Molly Shrewsberry and nutritionist Stacy Kennedy are also leading the Wellesley Wellness Retreat, where they’ll teach moms strategies for self-care and managing family life all year long. If you live anywhere near the Boston area, register now for the morning program as well as yoga, private coaching sessions, nutritional counseling, and massage in the afternoon. It’s sure to be a motivational and relaxing day. Consider it a holiday gift to yourself—and your loved ones.

This first guest post is by Cory Halaby, a yoga and meditation instructor and owner of Within Life Coaching. Learn more at her website.

The holidays are upon us! How are you doing? If you’re a mother of young children you might still be acclimating yourself to the role of show-runner and executive producer of your family’s holiday spectacular. You’re now in charge of allocating your limited resources (time, money, and effort) to things like gifts, decorations, holiday cards, hospitality, charity, travel, family time, social events, school pageants, religious observance, etcetera. You are shaping your growing family’s traditions, memories and values. No pressure, though. Just good cheer!

If at any point you feel overwhelmed, sleep deprived, or dangerously disconnected from your sense of humor, I have an simple centering exercise to offer. Set aside 10 or 15 minutes—if you’re honest with yourself, you know you can find them—and squirrel yourself away in a quiet spot. Stash away your phone and grab a pen and three pieces of paper. Write a heading at the top of each page:

PEACE during the holidays makes me think of….

JOY during the holidays makes me think of…

LOVE during the holidays makes me think of…

Then, using the prompts you’ve written, do a “quick-write”—meaning, write anything that occurs to you, stream of consciousness style, for 3-5 minutes without stopping.

Don’t worry about spelling, grammar, sounding smart, or even making sense. Unlike most writing, the goal here isn’t to express your ideas. The purpose of quick-writing is to discover the raw material of your own thoughts with no editor or filter. Nobody will read them but you. And you can toss them out when you’re done.

As you write, focus on holiday memories you associate with peace, love and joy, as well as ideas for this season and future years.

For some reason, long-hand writing works better than ruminating in your head. Usually, once you start writing, thoughts you didn’t know were there start to turn up on the page. You might be surprised to learn that you associate “peace” with pjs and a new book on Christmas morning, or “joy” with plotting with your cousins to sneak extra chocolate, or “love” with the photos in your grandparents’ living room.

When you put your pen down, take a moment to dwell in the feelings of peace, love and joy themselves.

From this peaceful place, take a fresh look at your lists and plans for the weeks to come. If there are items that stand out now in sharp contrast the those feelings of peace, love and joy, you have my permission to drop them.

If you find one or two meaningful ideas to add to your list, like playing more music or reaching out to someone in need, go ahead. You’re in charge.

Most likely, you’ll discover more space for peace, love and joy in the special moments you’ve already got nestled up your little elf sleeve.

Whatever you do or don’t do during these short days and long nights, check in often with the feelings of peace, love and joy and let them guide you like your own personal North Star.

And try to get enough sleep.

—Cory

To find out more about the Wellesley Wellness Retreat and register yourself or a loved one, go to the website here. The event will be on January 23, with morning and afternoon sessions.

5 Strategies for a Healthy Halloween

October 28, 2015 by Kelley Leave a Comment

Lest you assume from this post title that I’m going as Debbie Downer this Halloween, rest assured, I’m all for sweets and excitement on Saturday night. Some of my most cherished childhood memories involve running through the dark, gown or tail trailing perilously through the leaves, collecting enough Reese’s Peanut Butter cups to last me through Easter. But years of writing health columns and scouring E.R. data for various publications have taught me that the spookiest night of the year can pose some pretty real health challenges that can’t be fixed by just some extra tooth-brushing. Here, five quick tips to keep in mind as the sun goes down on Halloween 2016.

Teach kids to stick to lawns and sidewalks, not streets, when trick-or-treating. The scary truth: Halloween is ranked as the No. 1 day of the year for child-pedestrian accidents and fatalities. The majority of these fatalities occur during the peak trick-or-treating hours: 5 pm and 9 pm, with the deadliest hour of all being from 6 pm to 7 pm. The stimulus and crowds make it hard for drivers—think excited teenagers, or parents rushing home from work to join their kids—to navigate. So push these simple rules: Stick to lawns or sidewalks on one side of the street while trick-or-treating. Cross carefully, and only when necessary. Children under 12 should stick closely to parents, and older kids should travel with a large group of children.

Make sure trick-or-treaters know your cell phone number, or have it written on their hand or on a visible place on their costumes. My youngest son’s favorite book right now is Angelina’s Halloween, but for me, it’s terrifying: In it, little Polly mouse gets lost in the trick-or-treat shuffle, only to be found by her big sister on a doorstep hours later. Eek. Fact is, even experienced caregivers can lose sight of their ghosts and goblins. Make sure your child wears reflective tape or a glow stick necklace (grab 25 for just $10 on Amazon) in a color you’ve noted and identified, and teach or label them with your cell phone number before you set out for the night. If your older child is heading out with friends, pack a cell phone in their treat bag, and keep track of his or her whereabouts with a handy family-member locator app.

Keep sensitive kids shielded from too-scary imagery. While scary movies, haunted houses and the like may seem in the spirit of the season, be cognizant of how they might trigger your child’s fears. NYU researchers have that little kids who watch violent movies, including Halloween horror films, television shows or video games, may be more likely to develop anxiety, sleep disorders, and aggressive and self-endangering behaviors.

Monitor your child eating his or her candy. Of course, you’ll want to confiscate a few of your own faves as a price for your chaperoning efforts, but there are other reasons for hanging out while your child sorts through his plunder. Thankfully, razor blades and poisonous chemicals planted in candy are an overblown threat to kids, but allergens aren’t. Even if your child hasn’t been diagnosed with an allergy, he or she can develop one at anytime—especially young childhood—and many candy bars contain the most common and dangerous allergen: nuts. If there are any signs of rash, oral or throat itchiness, trouble breathing, or a bellyache that can’t be explained by a few too many Hershey’s miniatures, contact a healthcare provider immediately (or 911 for respiratory distress), and administer a dose of Benadryl while you monitor the situation. (If your child has a diagnosed food allergy, look for houses with teal-colored pumpkins—parents there have pledged to dole out only non-food treats.) Also, make sure children under 3 don’t get into treats like Gobstoppers, gumballs, or stiff taffy, all of which are choking hazards.

Make a dinner and bedtime plan. This year’s Halloween presents a perfect storm of routine-wrecking possibilities. Not only is the holiday on a Saturday night, theoretically giving kids more freedom to stay out late, the next morning we turn the clocks back, giving everyone (save for the millions of us with small children who wake up with the sun) an extra hour of sleep. But as tempting as it is to allow children to trick-or-treat well past their bedtime—the childhood equivalent of a late-night bender—experts advise against it. In his child sleep blog, Dr. Craig Canapari recommends allowing kids to stay up just a half-hour later than their usual bedtime in the three nights before DST ends (that includes Halloween), and then switching back to the “regular” schedule on November 1. As for dinner: set aside a time for kids to have a real, filling meal so they don’t load up later on candy: There is a real uptick in hospital visits for abdominal pain and diarrhea related to candy consumed on Halloween.

Be safe and enjoy!

How to Take Great Photos Of Your Kids

May 28, 2015 by Kelley Leave a Comment

There’s nothing like a beautiful or funny photo of a child to help remind us of the big-picture joys of raising kids. Even as years and legs stretch on, a photo will capture a stage or moment that may otherwise be stolen by the messiness of day-to-day life.

When it comes to memorializing our kids in 2-D, smartphones are a mixed blessing. The good: We can take tons of pictures, at any given moment. And the bad: We can take tons of pictures, at any given moment. We’ve devolved from point-and-shoot to point-and-tap, and too often, quality gets lost in quantity.

After discovering about three dozen crummy shots of blurry kids with blank expressions on my iPhone the other day, I decided it was time to get some legit advice on taking better pictures, before these irresistibly cute years pass by with few great photos to show for it. So I talked to the three moms I know who take the most unbelievably gorgeous, and seemingly effortless photos. My sister-in-law Susannah and friend Beth are amazing amateurs who are constantly taking and posting enviable shots of their children (they each have three). My high school friend Carolyn is a professional photographer who specializes in children’s and family portraits in Cincinnati (check out her website, Carolyn Bowles Photography, here.) They were kind enough to share their secrets to taking great photos of their kids and others’. Print out these tips and share them before summer vacation rolls around!

Susannah’s Tips

What’s your camera of choice? I always use the Canon EOS Rebel T3.

What settings do you use? I usually shoot in “full auto mode” (it automatically focuses, adjusts brightness, etc.) especially when taking photos of the kids on the move. I use portrait mode for holiday card photos, framed photos, etc. These are definitely my go-to, but in certain environments (beach, whatever), landscape and sports modes are also handy.

What time of day or positioning of sun is best? I always shoot with the sun behind my back so that it provides good, natural lighting. If you shoot with the sun facing the lens, you get hazy photos with lots of glare.

Stolen moments: Susannah took this photo of my oldest son and me in Martha’s Vineyard.

How do you get kids to look like they’re not being tortured in a photo? I generally take candids, which means I try to stay in the background, be as invisible as possible, and capture my kids in motion. I like to use my zoom feature, and take close-up photos of my kids’ faces, even when I’m far away. This allows me to capture really great, genuine moments without the groaning. For “staged” photos, my husband stands behind me and makes the kids laugh (pretending to trip over furniture is a go-to tactic). This helps generate genuine smiles in a staged setting.

What mistakes did you used to make? As I’ve become more experienced, I’ve really become more conscious of avoiding odd eyesores in the background (lawn furniture, bystanders, etc.)

Last piece of advice? Don’t be afraid to experiment and involve the kids—they love taking a picture or two.

Beth’s Tips

For water shots, Beth uses a Fuji Fine Pix point-and-shoot.

What’s your camera of choice? Sadly, most of my pictures end up being taken with my iPhone 5s, then cropped and edited. But when I’m really out to take pictures, I use a Nikon D40 SLR, most often with a 55-200mm zoom lens. You need to shoot from a distance with this, but that’s exactly why I love it: I can stay far away from the kids and get better candids, and I can really focus on details. I personally would rather capture the spark in one eye when a child is looking at something, than capture the 40 other things that could be going on in a standard frame. I also use a Fuji FinePix point-and-shoot in places where I don’t/can’t use my Nikon or iPhone—usually water-oriented things.

What settings do you use? As much as I can, I avoid using the flash, because I can never get the right tones. But if I have to use flash, then I deflect it/soften it using a bent index card. On my Nikon, I rely heavily on the automatic settings when I want dependable results, liking the portrait and action settings mostly. I also use iPhoto editing tools for adjusting color balance, cropping to get a better shot, etc. Very little that I share has not been at least re-framed.

Don't be afraid to break "the rules" of lighting.

Breaking “the rules” of lighting: Beth’s daughter at the Cape.

What time of day or positioning of sun is best? My favorites are the start and end of the days—it’s just good light. A full shadow is better than dappled shadows, and an overcast day is easier to shoot than a super sunny day (especially on snow and sand.) And some of my favorite shots break all the rules of lighting … I love evening backlighting and getting really dark subjects, especially if the kids are at play. And, when something is close but not quite right, playing with exposure and contrast after the fact can make a huge difference.

How do you get kids to not look like they’re being tortured in a photo? After a few horrific portrait sessions, I decided I’d rather have happy candids than “perfect” portraits. For those family pictures, though, it’s key that kids not be hungry, tired, or forced to sit while other kids are throwing a frisbee or eating ice cream. And not before opening gifts on Christmas morning. The best pictures tend to be taken at places where the kids are authentically happy anyway: with friends, at the beach, during an Easter Egg hunt or a birthday party.

What mistakes did you used to make? High expectations are the seed of disappointment: I no longer tell the kids that this is important to me. That’s the kiss of death. One mistake I have made again and again is waiting until the end of an event to try for a “memory” shot” (“Great Grandma is here, let’s get everyone in a picture..”). But the kids have been excused, Great Grandma is worried about the time, and no one is happy—and no one looks happy—even if you manage to get the shot. Do it at the beginning, or while everyone is sitting and eating. It’s way easier to put a plate down for 30 seconds than to reconvene everyone for a forced photo once the event is waning.

Last piece of advice? You can’t get good pictures if you don’t take pictures: Always have a camera with you, and take a lot of shots. And take a lot of them at once: On the iPhone, use the burst feature. A lot of point-and-shoots and SLRs have a version of it, too. Even if you get no perfect shots, they’ll have been taken so closely together that you have decent odds of photoshopping open eyes into a picture where one kid is caught mid-blink and everything else is great.

Carolyn’s Tips

What’s your camera of choice? I love the Canon 5D and it has been my go-to camera for many years. It’s amazing when paired with a lens like my favorite, the 50mm 1.2. I always tell people a great lens to start learning about photography is the 50mm 1.4, either Canon or Nikon. It’s called a prime lens because it’s at a set focal length. So, you move on your feet to move close to or far away from your subject. It’s an amazing lens and really helps you learn how to shoot in manual mode.

What settings do you use? I always set it on manual and make adjustments between aperture, shutter speed, and ISO. The great thing about digital cameras is that you can practice, practice, and practice some more without wasting money on film. Plus, you can get instant feedback by checking the back screen so you can make adjustments and get the exposure right.

Carolyn Bowles Photography

What time of day or positioning of sun is best? My favorite is a few hours before sunset. I love that soft, glowy, even light that you get when the sun starts to go down for the day. Now, while I encourage all my clients to choose this time of day, sometimes it just doesn’t work out and we have to shoot mid-day. In that case, I’ll find nice open shade so I don’t have to worry about the sun. I may need to move around my subject multiple times to find the most pleasing light before I start snapping away. Take your time to get the set up right with the light and you’ll be so happy you did.

How do you get kids to not look like they’re being tortured in a photo? I like to start every session by telling the kids how much fun we’re going to have. This is in big contrast to some parents who want to tell their kids to quickly smile and then they can get a treat. In my experience, that tactic rarely works because the child never fully settles into being photographed. He/she instead does a fake smile super quick just to get to the treat. But if you make the session fun by playing games, blowing bubbles, going on a nature walk,

Carolyn Bowles Photography

swinging with parents, running in circles, having a tea party, or whatever is of interest, that child will have a blast and be engaged and forget that he/she is even being photographed. That’s where the magic starts and you get genuine, documentary style portraits that every parent wants to have of their child. That’s not to say that kids don’t have meltdowns, get upset, or feel tired. In that case, I always encourage parents to have snacks and drinks on hand. Sometimes we even stop a session to read a book and just take a break with no photos. When we have a specific pose in mind or something we want to accomplish, I find that hardly ever goes well. But if we see where the photos lead us and what the kids do, it leads to unique portraits that tell the story of that individual child.

What mistakes did you used to make or do you see other parents make? A mistake I often see parents do is to start to get upset themselves that a photo session may not go as they had planned. Again, it takes much patience, ease, and go-with-the-flow attitude when photographing children.

Any final tips or tricks? One, I would encourage everyone to try moving toward manual mode. Start by setting your camera to AP mode (“aperture-priority”). In this case, you choose the aperture (how much light comes into the camera) and then the camera chooses the shutter speed and ISO. It’s the first step into seeing how these three technical things work together. Once you get the hang of it, you can eventually get into manual mode and see your photography start to take off! Two, get a good photo management system to help you organize your photos and not hog space on your device. After I take my photos, I upload them immediately to Lightroom (an Adobe app), choose my favorites to process and delete the ones I don’t like. Finally, print your portraits! Get them off your hard drive and actually enjoy them. The look of joy when I hand over a wall gallery of prints, a masterpiece canvas, or an album of a session to a family is priceless and always reminds me to print my own photos.

Why Give Gifts at All?

December 24, 2014 by Kelley 3 Comments

If there’s any sort of anti-materialistic or penny-pinching bone in your body, this time of year is bound to make you a little batty. Gift guides, pop-up ads, and catalogs we never, ever intend to order from entreat us to buy, buy and buy some more. Even as I type this, hours before Christmas Eve, L.L. Bean just sent me one more email reminding me that I still have time to get a Fair Isle sweater across the country before Christmas. How is that even possible?

And yet—I deeply love the gift-giving tradition of Christmas. I love that the boys spend weeks working on their lists to send to Santa, each item more outlandish than the last. (My 6 year-old’s latest add: An LED-illuminated cactus growing kit for his room.) I love anticipating the looks on their and other loved ones’ faces when they open up items they forgot they mentioned to me months prior. And this year, the first in which they’ve used their own allowance money to buy their own gifts to give, I have loved listening to their rationale when plotting their own $2 surprises for grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. (Nana does love chewing Trident gum on her walks, it’s true.)

Of course, I realize that the true meaning of Christmas can’t be found on Amazon. Which is why we round up loose change in the house and buy canned goods to donate at the town food pantry. We bake bread for neighbors. We have a special edition of our weekly “family meeting” and share our reflection on years past and hopes for the year ahead. And tomorrow, we will endeavor to sit through an entire church service without someone making a scene or needing a big-boy-underpants change.

Christmas morning, 1979

But hours later, when my husband and I arrange the presents under the tree and stuff stockings, I’ll remember, as I have every December since becoming a parent, the story my mother tells of the year she and my Dad finally felt like they had saved up enough money to give my sisters and I a “big” Christmas. After they hauled the Barbie pool and banana-seat bicycle up from the basement hiding spot, they stood back and just stared, in elated disbelief, at the tree and the carefully wrapped treasures around it. The gifts didn’t symbolize love, exactly, but the hard work and sacrifices they had made for the people they loved.

“We overdid it,” my mom says now. “We couldn’t help ourselves.” But looking back, I don’t think that made us feel entitled. We didn’t get everything we wanted, not by a long shot, and my mother was never the type to give in to random toy pleas in the Sears checkout aisle in the middle of the year. Christmas was special, and we all saved up for it.

It’s no wonder that my all-time favorite holiday tale, and one of my favorite short stories, period, is O. Henry’s Gift of the Magi. In it, a young, poor married man and his wife separately, and secretly, sell their prized possessions in order to earn money to buy gifts for each other for Christmas. He sells his pocket watch to buy hair combs for her; but alas, she has sold all her hair to buy a chain for his pocket watch. Their presents turn out to be useless; and all the more meaningful because of it. O. Henry writes:

The magi, as you know, were wise men – wonderfully wise men – who brought gifts to the new-born King of the Jews in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their gifts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. And here I have lamely related to you the uneventful chronicle of two foolish children in a flat who most unwisely sacrificed for each other the greatest treasures of their house. But in a last word to the wise of these days let it be said that of all who give gifts these two were the wisest. Of all who give and receive gifts, such as they are wisest. Everywhere they are wisest. They are the Magi.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has spent the last several weeks spending more time and money than is probably wise, all because there are few things sweeter than seeing our children’s eyes light up with genuine and utter glee. To all my fellow Magi moms and dads, I wish for you a joyous holiday, and a coming year filled with all things priceless: family, friends, and love.

Holiday Treat: Hummingbird Bread

December 18, 2014 by Kelley 1 Comment

I’ve written before about how much I like homemade quick breads. They’re easy to make, can be packed with fruits and veggies, stay fresh for days, and can serve as a snack, breakfast, or dinner side dish. For all these reasons, they also serve as great gifts.

This holiday season, I’m making a new fave, Hummingbird Bread. Inspired by the cake that famously ran in the 1978 issue of Southern Living (and is to this day, the magazine’s most requested recipe), it contains bananas, crushed pineapple, shredded coconut, and cinnamon, ingredients that are easy to get, and yet feel like a tropical escape, in the middle of wintertime. I’ve based this recipe on one from the great Beth Bakes blog, but made some changes, including adding coconut, a pinch of salt, and swapping out pineapple for vanilla yogurt.

If you really want to remain true to the original, you can ice the entire loaf with cream cheese frosting and a sprinkling of chopped pecans, or toast slices and slather them with cream cheese. I like it plain, warm, and alongside a cup of coffee, warm apple cider, or hot chocolate.

Hummingbird Bread

Ingredients

Half stick of butter, softened
3/4 cups granulated sugar
2 eggs
2 mashed, ripe bananas
6 ounces vanilla yogurt
8 ounces crushed pineapple (canned or pureed in processor)
2 cups flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 cup shredded sweetened coconut (I blitz these in processor a bit so the cut is finer)

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350.
Cream butter and sugar together in a large bowl with an electric or standing mixer, and then add mix in eggs, bananas, and yogurt at low-medium speed. Fold in pineapple.
In separate, medium-sized bowl, stir together flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon. Add in batches to the wet ingredients, stirring until just incorporated. Fold in coconut at the end.
Pour into greased and floured, 9 x 5 loaf pan (or divide between 2-3 mini pans). Cook for 45-50 minutes (or about 35-40 minutes for mini pans, checking for doneness).

https://www.happyhealthykids.com/hummingbird-bread/

Keep Your Head this Holiday Season

December 9, 2014 by Kelley Leave a Comment

This time of year, it’s tempting to throw routines and good judgment out the window and let the fun times, cocoa, and endless Nick Jr. holiday episodes flow. But the American Academy of Pediatrics, in their infinite and sober wisdom, knows that an emphasis on making the holidays perfectly “merry” can backfire, and have come up with some helpful reminders for staying sane even when you’re on the verge of descending into holiday madness. I came across these tips today and am thinking about tattooing them to my (Amazon one-click-ordering) hand for the remainder of December. Here they are, slightly condensed, via the AAP site Healthy Children.

Holiday Mental Health Tips

1. Take care of yourself. Just like they say on the airplane, “In the event of an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first, and then help children traveling with you to put theirs on.” Children respond to the emotional tone of their important adults, so managing your emotions successfully can help your children handle theirs better, too.

2. Make a plan to focus on one thing at a time. Try a few ideas from mindfulness as a strategy to balance the hustle and bustle of things like shopping, cooking, and family get-togethers during the holidays: Stop and pay attention to what is happening at the moment, focus your attention on one thing about it, notice how you are feeling at the time, withhold immediate judgment, and instead be curious about the experience.

3. Give to others. Make a new holiday tradition to share your time with families who have less than you do. Encourage an older child to join you in volunteering to serve a holiday meal at your local food bank or shelter. Help your child write a letter to members of the armed forces stationed abroad who can’t be home with their own family during the holidays. (More HHK ideas for this next week.)

4. Keep routines the same. Stick to your child’s usual sleep and mealtime schedules when you can to reduce stress and help your child and you enjoy the holidays.

5. Keep your household rules in effect. Adults still have to pay the bills and kids still need to brush their teeth before bedtime!

6. Teach the skills that children will need for the holidays in the weeks and months ahead. For example, if you plan to have a formal, sit-down dinner, practice in advance by having a formal sit-down dinner every Sunday night.

7. Don’t feel pressured to overspend. Think about making one or two gifts instead of buying everything. Help your child make a gift for his or her other parent, grandparents, or other important adults and friends. Chances are, those gifts will be the most treasured ones and will teach your child many important lessons that purchasing presents can’t.

8. Most important of all, enjoy the holidays for what they are – time to enjoy with your family. So, be a family, do things together like sledding or playing board games, spend time visiting with relatives, neighbors and friends.

Photo credit: Cat Planet Rocks My Socks via Photo Pin, cc

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