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The Next Great Parenting Book

August 11, 2016 by Kelley Leave a Comment

When I launched this blog two summers ago, my first goal was assembling an advisory board of world-class pediatric health and wellness experts to field questions whatever topic was on my mind (or under my skin) from week to week. I was thrilled when psychologist and parenting coach Erica Reischer, Ph.D became one of the first brave souls to sign on to this unknown, somewhat health-wonky venture, and now I’m not the least bit surprised that she’s now having a book published: What Great Parents Do.

If you’ve read the blog that inspired the book, you know Dr. Reischer has a knack for giving science-based tips that are both practical and soulful at the same time. Above all, a mom herself, she tells it like it is, and inspires us to do better without ever making us feel small when we’re frazzled or frustrated. Some topics she tackles:

-Handling (without fixing) kids’ discomforts and down-moments (look for more on this in an excerpt from her book about boredom in an upcoming post)

-Helping kids get comfortable by practicing the hard stuff (like greeting grown-ups, not acing their times tables)

-Understanding how kids’ still-growing brains are responsible for some of their worst behavior

-And ditching empty praise to teach kids a real road map for success: what she calls the 3 Ps (practice, patience, and perseverance).

It’s the type of book that you’ll want to keep on your bedside or start-up page to refer to in bits and pieces when you catch a moment (or need some motivation). If you’re one of the first 500 people to pre-order the book now, here, before it goes officially goes on sale on Aug. 16, you’ll get a bonus copy of Dr. Reischer’s how-to guide 5 Simple Steps to Get Kids to Listen *Without* Nagging or Yelling (Who couldn’t use that this time of year???)

Less Homework, More Home Work

July 26, 2016 by Kelley 1 Comment

Plenty of summertime pleasures from our childhoods are going the way of the Dodo—kick the can, Kool-Aid, fireflies—but perhaps none are as much as an understandable bummer for our kids than a break from homework. Sure, there was the odd handout of suggested reading lists, which may have motivated my mother to nudge me past the Babysitters Club section of the sandy-floored Atlantic Bookshop on Rehoboth Beach boardwalk. But today’s children come home from their last day of school not only with “required” reading lists, but also composition books, workbooks, and a laundry list of assignments and expectations. And I admit, after reading about the “summer slide” when it comes to kids’ knowledge, I’ve embraced this new-school-order, and enforce—there’s no other word for it—10 minutes or so of homework most days we’re home.

The other day, after my boys were literally rolling on the hardwood floors in despair over the prospect of starting the requisite summer letter to their new teachers, I wondered if perhaps there was a better, more creative, more merciful way to keep kids’ brains from turning to slush over the summer. I sent an email to a fellow blogger who writes about educational theory: former middle school teacher and creator of The Cult of Pedagogy, Jennifer Gonzalez. I was wondering if you might be willing to get back to me with some of your favorite, experience- or research-based ideas for keeping children’s minds engaged during the lazy, hazy, unstructured days of summer, I wrote her. Beyond homework.

Jennifer’s reply surprised me. First, she admitted that despite the fact that her blog focuses on helping kids learn, she, too, feels like she’s falling short in the summer mental enrichment department, too. During unstructured hours, she says, she ends up letting her kids spend far more time on their devices than she thinks she should. However, she writes, I can say that one thing I’m doing this summer is to give them more hands-on work in the house. During the school year we are usually so rushed to “get things done” that I don’t have the patience to let them do a lot of household chores or cook their own food. And I rarely remember to follow up and make sure they did them. But this summer I’m having them wash dishes, take out the trash and recycling, and pick up dog poop on a regular schedule. When they ask if they can cook something, the answer is usually “yes,” and I am even able to get them to clean up after themselves with some level of satisfaction. To me, this is stimulating in a different way than academic enrichment or summer activities would be. It’s teaching them the kind of responsibility and skills they will need to function as citizens, as roommates, and as members of their own families someday.

How simple, and smart. With more time in their days, fewer clothes to dirty, and tools like hoses at the ready, summer is, of course, the ideal time to begin getting kids into the habit of more “home work.” Plus, though I’ve written before about how kids can benefit from doing work around the house, research supporting this theory has only grown since I wrote that post. A recent survey of more than 5000 parents by the smartphone data company Pollfish found that those who insist on regular chores are more likely to report their kids as being successful in school and in relationships.

You can find loads of age-appropriate chore charts in the blogosphere—and a hilarious send-up of the genre by a psychologist mom, here. So, without foisting yet another to-do list for child enrichment on readers who probably master the chore game better than me, I’ll simply share a few of the best ideas I’ve found for getting kids into a more helpful mindset for the balance of summer—with seasonal needs and realism in mind.

Use preschoolers as “helpers.” We all know that getting kids to do chores can be a chore in itself, and that’s ten-fold for littles. Rather than set them out on a task solo, have them work alongside you more often. Some good ideas for this age group:
–Pulling weeds
-Scrubbing car mats
-Wiping down a picnic or patio table
-Rounding up backyard toys before dinnertime
-Putting socks into pairs

Give 6- to 12-year-old “real” jobs—and don’t hover. Children this age are old enough to be decently helpful, but they—and you—will only get frustrated if you nitpick. Show them a technique once, if need be, and then let them be. Some summer tasks that are worth dishing out to elementary schoolers:
-Watering plants and flowers
-Washing car exteriors
-Cleaning and hosing down garbage cans
-Organizing toys in the garage
-Folding—or at least putting away—their own laundry

Make a Job Jar. I’m not a huge fan of “making a game” out of anything that seems unpalatable for kids, but this strategy for getting children on board with chores is pretty simple and has been well received in our house. Label a mason jar and put folded up pieces of paper labeled with chores that need to get done—think of things that have been hanging over your head for awhile, like finding lost library books or cleaning underneath couches—inside. Once a week, let kids pick from the job jar (and maybe actually earn a few bucks for it).

Appeal to their “App”sessiveness. Allow them to earn iPad time by first checking off a to-do list online, via one of the new apps created just for this purpose. These are helpful especially if you’re having trouble getting a chore system for kids off the ground. Two chore apps to check out: My Job Chart and Funifi DO.

Protecting Kids From Mosquitoes

July 19, 2016 by Kelley 1 Comment

Are you, or anyone in your family, a mosquito magnet like me? In a group of people, I am always the first swatting; and the next day, itching like mad. I’ve twice—once, on my Hawaiian honeymoon—had to go on a crash course of oral steroids to treat dozens of oversized welts caused by a single buggy encounter.

Medical literature suggests that some people are genetically predisposed to attracting these mosquitos—something about the amount of heat and carbon dioxide we produce—and that seems to play out in our family, given that my dad, and now my youngest son, seem predisposed to an inordinate amount of itchy, oversized bites this time of year. But it’s now apparent that, even here in the states, these flies are more than pesky, and we all need to take protection more seriously. While findings of bugs carrying the West Nile virus are on the rise, Zika has officially infiltrated the U.S.: as of mid-July CDC reports that more than 1,300 people have carried the virus into the country. As this fascinating chart by the Bill Gates Foundation illustrates, mosquitos are the deadliest creature on the planet, more dangerous than humans, snakes, and 12 other fearsome creatures combined.

Last summer, I did a round-up of expert tips for steering clear of ticks; as we roll into mosquito high season, I’m sharing takeaways from the most recent research for keeping kids safe from ‘skeeters.

DEET is safe and works—but make sure you choose the right concentration.
While it may feel fishy to spray your child down with a chemical that can (for real) melt plastic, a recent review by British public health researchers echoed many others to show that DEET products are safe for kids when used as directed, and are perhaps the most time-tested way to successfully repel insects. Studies show that a product should contain at least 10% to work much at all, but effectiveness seems to plateau at 50% concentrations. The higher the concentration, the longer it lasts; but as with most chemicals, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends choosing a product that contains the lowest DEET concentration that will be effective for the amount a time a child will be exposed to buggy conditions. For children over 2 months of age only (chemical use on newborns should be avoided), the AAP and CDC recommend choosing a DEET product between 10% and 30%—the former lasting about 2 hours, and the latter for around 5 hours—and reapplying as the product directs or when you feel the bugs starting bite again. Unfortunately, many sprays marketed to “families” have too-low concentrations of the protective chemical. So be sure to check the fine print on the bottom of the front label: Among the four DEET-based bug spray options at my local supermarket yesterday, three were 7% concentration.

Good DEET spray choice for day trip (for kids over 2 months): Cutter Backwoods Insect Repellent (25%)

Good DEET choice for travel (for kids over 2 months): OFF! Deep Woods Insect Repellent Wipes (25%)

Good (non oily!) DEET spray choice for backyard or playground (for kids over 2 months):

Two lesser known repellents work too, if you can find ’em.
Picaridin is another chemical repellent with a long safety track record, and a 2016 Consumer Reports study found that sprays with 20% concentration of Picaridin were even more widely effective than DEET. The problem is, it’s hard to find products with concentrations this high outside of Europe and the Internet (see below). Another winner: Oil of lemon eucalyptus. Though a more natural choice than DEET and Picaridin, it’s not recommended for use in kids under 3 (it can be a skin irritant).

Good picaridin choice (for kids over 2 months): Sawyer Premium Insect Repellent with Picaridin (20%)

Good Oil of lemon eucalyptus choice (for kids over 3 only): Repel Lemon Eucalyptus (30%)

Skip bands, bracelets, bath oils, and candles.
Those cute little rubber bracelets and pretty citronella lanterns aren’t going to do more than decorate wrists and picnic tables. Consumer Reports found they had little to no effect on shooing away mosquitoes, echoing a 2002 New England Journal of Medicine report that also found that Skin-So-Soft didn’t repel the bugs for longer than about 10 minutes.

Make your home unfriendly to mosquitoes.
While these bugs are wily opponents, there are things you can do to make your property less hospitable to them. Make sure window and door screens are tight fitting and don’t have holes. Eliminate sources of standing rainwater where mosquitoes like to breed (such a empty pots, buckets, and vinyl covers for pool and furniture), and try a product like mosquito dunks if you have a catchment basin (like we do). You can talk to a professional lawn care company about research-proven treatments for your lawn and trees to dissuade mosquitoes, but these tend to be expensive, and, according to the American Mosquito Control Association, widespread pesticide spraying may harm other, beneficial insects.

Be aware of time of day and weather.
Mosquitoes that carry different types of diseases like to emerge at different times of day. In most areas of the U.S., mosquitoes tend to be peskiest in the early evening hours, but if you’re in a place where these bugs tend to cause dengue, yellow fever, or chikungunya, you need to be vigilant about spraying and keeping doors and windows closed during daylight hours, too. Also, be sure to use repellent in humid conditions; think the woods just after a rainstorm. To see what types of mosquitoes are active in your area, check out this map by the CDC. And regardless of time or climate, experts urge us parents to start thinking about bug spray just as we would sunscreen: an essential, daily habit. Unfortunately, scratchy legs aren’t the only things we’re protecting kids against these days.

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Best Podcasts for Kids

June 21, 2016 by Kelley 1 Comment

You may have gathered that I’m a little obsessed with podcasts. Why clean the dishes in silence (or in earshot of post-dinner mutant-robot sword fights…why does their energy always ramp up right after dinner when you need it to dissipate)? Popping in an earbud and catching part of a Fresh Air interview or Dear Sugar Radio episode doesn’t just pass the time and force me to think beyond work and family minutiae. On some days, it keeps me sane.

I realized recently that the same might be true for my kids. There are plenty of short, “dead” periods in the car and at home when, tired and left to their own devices, my kids will choose to needle and whine. While I realize that down time to just “be” is important to childhood, I think we have plenty of those. What I could use is a little brain teaser when energy is short but I’d like my kids to do more than zone out to Sonic the Hedgehog. The other month, I covered audiobooks. Today, I’m talking podcasts.

While podcasts about kids (i.e., parenting) are plentiful on iTunes, podcasts for kids are few and far between. But among these, there are several gems. Sample from some of the programs below, and hook up your phone or the kids’ iPads to the car or home stereo when you’re in this zone of betwixt and between. And, just in case you don’t know how to access, much less download, a podcast, here’s a quick primer: If you have a smartphone, you should have (or can download) a Podcast app, where your chosen programs will be stored as you subscribe to or download them. To find one—and there are hundreds of thousands of free ones—fire up iTunes or Stitcher and search for whatever you’re interested in…fashion, politics, parenting, whatever. These services will cue up the 10 or so most popular podcasts in that genre. You can subscribe (new episodes download automatically), listen to a single episode if you are in a Wi-Fi or good cell zone, or download one by one.

Brains On!
Ages 5-12
In terms of quality, this is tops among kids’ podcasts, probably because it’s run by three public radio vets. Each episode explores a kid-friendly scientific phenomenon or conundrum—why is some hair curly? Is there an edge to space? Smart, excited kids and friendly, real-life scientists animate the explanation. Just in case brain cramp sets in, each installment is broken up by a feature called “Mystery Sounds” in which a short audio clip is run and everyone gets to ponder the source. Older kids might balk at some goofy elements, but they’ll also surprise themselves by learning something.
Listen and subscribe

Ear Snacks
Ages 3-6
Indie kids’ rock musicians (and parents) Andrew and Polly mix it up on this wacky podcast, which covers topics from “Beeps” to “Boxes” to “Shadows” with a mix of science, stream-of-consciousness ramblings, and surprisingly good music. Best for the preschool set but some musically inclined early elementary schoolers might get into it, too.
Listen and subscribe

Storynory
Ages 3-8
Among little kids’ audio, there are a lot of creaky-feeling folk-tale retellings, but what’s great about this podcast is its mix of classic and new, and long and short, with some funny poems and songs mixed in. Actors read myths, fairy tales, and original stories you’ve never heard before.

Story Pirates
Ages 5-12
It’s a clever concept: top comedians and actors adapt stories written by kids into musical theater. The performances are amusing, but perhaps the best part is that children get the idea that their ideas matter. (Sample episode teaser: “From the Wilderness show, the Story Pirates present new story ‘Bird Tornado’ by Austin Fuemmeler!” You can imagine Austin’s delight.) Each podcast in an excerpt from the Story Pirates’ weekly Sirius XM radio show and nicely edited down to 6-20-minute bites: perfect for the ride to camp or the pool.
Listen and subscribe

Tumble
Ages 5-12
Husband-and-wife duo Lindsay Patterson and Marshall Escamilla are psyched about science, and are on a quest to get entire families feeling the same way. What it lacks in polish compared to, say, Brains On, it makes up for in enthusiasm. Perhaps you do know why dogs or loyal, or why bats hang upside down; for the rest of us know-littles, it’s a great podcast for parents, too.
Listen and subscribe

Readers: What awesome, kid-friendly podcasts am I missing? Clue me in below or here!

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Teaching Boundaries to Young Kids

June 15, 2016 by Kelley 1 Comment

What a start to summer. The recent spate of devastating news, spanning from campus assault to terrorism, happened to coincide with my kids’ final, happy days of nursery school, second grade, and fourth grade. Even as I cheered their crossing of milestones, I grieved inwardly about how short-lived these innocent days really are. It won’t be long until they aren’t just hearing scary news in the background, but understanding many of its deep, dark complexities.

One thing I’m trying to learn through writing this blog is how to talk to kids about big, difficult subjects in age-appropriate ways. I sense, from conversations with experts like Ellen Braaten, Ph.D and others, that there’s a window of opportunity to candidly connect with our kids that tends to get stuck as they enter their teens and naturally crave more space and privacy. And as details emerged about the Stanford sexual assault case, some friends and I discussed whether it was possible to start familiarizing kids with the concept of consent in early and mid-childhood—in other words, before sex enters the picture. As the parent of sons, I was especially interested in how to teach boys about boundaries—both how to recognize and respect them—without compromising their naturally affectionate natures.

Thankfully, other thinkers have offered some extremely helpful wisdom on the subject. In particular, there’s one article, originally posted on Everyday Feminism by a group of four journalists, that even academic psychologists cite as a great primer. Called Healthy Sex Talk, Teaching Kids Consent from 1-21, it was written in 2013, but I haven’t seen it until this week. In case you haven’t either, I’ve pared it down to five key points, here. There are many more age-specific details in the original article. Thanks to Alyssa Royse, Joanna Schroeder, Julie Gillis, and Jamie Utt for thinking about this before most of us were.

Encourage them to ask playmates before embracing them; and don’t force them to hug or kiss anyone else. It doesn’t have to be stiff and formal; simple langauge such as, “Sarah, let’s ask Joe if he would like to hug bye-bye,” just gets a child into a habit of respecting personal space. If Joe resists, be cheerful and suggest a wave, high-five, or a blown kiss. Suggest the same if you have a shy child who’s uneasy about embracing a cuddly friend or relative.

Use every opportunity you can to teach your child to think about how it feels to be in another person’s shoes. Empathy can be taught, and young kids are especially receptive. The authors suggest: “Use language like, ‘I know you wanted that toy, but when you hit Mikey, it hurt him and he felt very sad. And we don’t want Mikey to feel sad because we hurt him.’ Encourage your child to imagine how he or she might feel if Mikey had hit them, instead. This can be done with a loving tone and a big hug, so the child doesn’t feel ashamed or embarrassed.” As kids grow, prompt them to pay attention to friends’ and siblings’ expressions and body language, and occasionally check in to make sure that their companions are okay.

Teach kids to respond immediately to—and freely use—”No” and “Stop.” Whether they are responsible for or the recipient of the unwanted action, even one as seemingly innocuous as nudging or tickling, make sure children understand the sanctity of these words.

Use correct terms for body parts and encourage them to speak matter-of-factly about them. When you take the mystery out of the language, talking frankly about these parts and their function becomes less taboo.

Motivate them to help people in trouble. Even as we distress over the terrible judgment of the young assailant in the Stanford case, we have to feel heartened by the heroic intervention of the graduate students who recognized and stopped the assault. We all want our kids to grow into individuals who step in when someone is struggling, but it may actually take practice. For little kids, authors suggest using family pet as an example (“Oh, it looks like the kitty’s tail is stuck! We have to help her!”) Later, prompt children to intervene or alert a grown-up if they see someone being bullied. Providing them with some sample language to make this tricky situation easier—and lots of props for bravery—helps.

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Why the “Two-Minute Warning” Backfires

May 26, 2016 by Kelley 1 Comment

You hear it on the playground, in the toy store, in playrooms and TV rooms across America:

“Two-minute war-ning!”

My husband and I hardly the only parents who throw this phrase around like Skittles on an airplane. To our minds, it’s a way of letting kids know that while happy-fun-time is reaching its endpoint, while also allowing them to wrap their little heads around the concept and therefore ease more comfortably into an undesirable transition. I’ll speak for myself that there’s even a little smugness about it: I’m standing firm, but softening the blow.

The two-minute warning wasn’t our brainchild, of course. When my oldest was a stubborn toddler who tended to fixate on what interested him and tune out the rest of the world, our New York City pediatrician clued us into the idea of the two-minute warning. “It’s helpful to give him time to get used to an idea rather than just yanking him out of a situation,” he said. So from that point on, whenever we could remember to do it and physically situate ourselves in earshot, we’ve given our kids two-minute warnings before the end of playtime, outdoor time, before-bed reading time, and most commonly, screen time.

And yet, my nagging suspicion that this common parental tool always made me feel better than it did my kids is supported by new research out of the University of Washington. Researchers in the school’s Computing for Healthy Living and Learning Lab interviewed some families and asked others to keep a diary of screen time experiences over the course of two weeks. Researchers found, to their surprise, that two-minute warnings seem only to worsen tantrums in young kids. The study was small, but controlled, and definitely compelling.

So what does work to get kids to move away from an activity without throwing a fit? The researchers suggest the following:

Routine, routine, routine: When the Shopkins or Transformers always come out, say, just after snack time and get put away just before bath, kids seem to accept the end of free time as a natural order of things.
Natural stopping points: You don’t like it when the baby starts to cry in the middle of Game of Thrones, do you? So we can sympathize when we pull the plug just after Bree enters the time machine to the third dimension on Lab Rats. We can help ourselves and our kids by choosing a show or program that has a defined endpoint, and making sure you are around and ready to call it quits when the credits roll or avatar completes his mission.
Make timers do the dirty work for you. Funny, children are far more accepting of a beeping device than a yelling parent. Lots of smart TVs, iPads have controls that lock access at a certain time. And we’ve had success in setting up these small, inexpensive timers in the playroom and the bedrooms (they’re even good for getting lazy kids out the shower).

I’m piloting a greater effort to structure our busy lives so I’m not continually yanking my four-year-old, especially, from one thing to another, and will keep these tactics top of mind. If you have any good tricks, do tell!

The One Vitamin Worth Taking

May 5, 2016 by Kelley 1 Comment

Anyone who reads my blog knows that I’m skeptical of supplements. I echo the advice that most medical experts have given me time and again in my years of health reporting: The absolute best way for kids—and grown-ups—to get their vitamins is by eating a colorful variety of vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, low-mercury fish, and whole grains.

Except, it seems, when it comes to Vitamin D.

At my pediatrician’s office for my youngest son’s 4th year well visit in early January, I confidently checked off every box she presented to me in terms of monitoring his health. I was presenting him with (mostly) healthy foods, putting him to bed early(ish), etcetera. (The thumb sucking conversation was a can I kicked down the road). But then Dr. Gara asked if I was giving him Vitamin D each day. Yes, I told her; he drinks a lot of milk. No dice, she said. He—and his brothers—should still be taking a 400 IU supplement of Vitamin D each day, she told me.

Funny, I thought that Vitamin D were mainly for breastfed babies, and that once kids started drinking fortified milk, they got what they needed. So I double checked with my trusty pediatrician advisers at Two Peds in a Pod, and they confirmed what Dr. Gara said. In 2009, the AAP upped all kids’ daily requirements of Vitamin D to 400 IUs. But what about kids—like mine—who put away enough milk in a year to nourish a small city? “(400 IUs) is equivalent to 32 ounces of milk per day. This is TOO MUCH milk for anyone other than an older formula-fed baby who has not yet started solids foods,” the pediatrician bloggers wrote in a post on the subject.

And what about Vitamin-D-rich sun exposure? In the summer months, kids should be wearing sunscreen to protect against skin cancer, which blocks much of the penetration of the vitamin; in the winter months, most children don’t spend enough time outside in sunny climates to get enough of a benefit.

The reason this all matters is that sufficient Vitamin D is essential for healthy bone growth, and also seems to help protect kids against certain illnesses, asthma, and allergies. Add to that a new study showing that toddlers who took extra Vitamin D were leaner and had greater muscle mass, and supplements are—I totally concede, now—a no-brainer.

For the past four and a half months, I’ve given my kids a Vitamin D supplement every morning (along with a Culturelle probiotic, but that’s a post for another day). None of them has had more than a mild cold all winter, a fact I realize provides absolutely zero evidence beyond the anecdotal but, given our family history of pukey and flu-y winters, I’m mentioning just for kicks.

There are a ton of fine-tasting, kid-friendly supplements of Vitamin D3 (the kind best absorbed by the body). Some are folded into a “complete” multi-vitamin, but as long as your child has a reasonably healthy diet, there’s no need to pay extra for that if you don’t have to. In 2013, Consumer Reports rated options for both adults and kids, here. Their top recommendations for kids are:

Carlson Laboratory for Kids 400 IU drops

Nature Made Kids Chewable D3 400 IU

Nature Factors Vitamin D3 for Kids

CVS Children’s Chewable Vitamin D 400 IU (This product doesn’t seem widely available anymore; my kids take the CVS brand gummies, here.)

Bottom line: We should keep serving kids milk and making sure they have lots of time outdoors, in the sunshine. But when it comes to Vitamin D, a supplement is best.

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Why Active is More Important than Thin

April 1, 2016 by Kelley 1 Comment

From magazine covers to reality TV to body-negative chatter on the Internet, we’re surrounded my messages that it’s good—paramount, perhaps—to look fit. But someone can look physically healthy and not be—even in childhood, as important new research shows.

In a study led by Mount Sinai Hospital researchers in New York City and funded by the U.S. Department of Health, 1.5 million teens were given physical fitness assessments, and then tracked as adults—up to age 62. Turns out that young people with poor aerobic fitness and low muscle strength had triple the risk of diabetes later in life, regardless of their body mass index (BMI). Kids who were active, but heavier, were still protected against diabetes—likely due, researchers say, to the way that physical activity helps regulate the hormone insulin. Insulin sensitivity is the main factor in the development of diabetes. In 2012, 29.1 million Americans, or 9.3% of the population, had diabetes—a number that’s rising at an “alarming” pace, according to CDC officials.

These findings bring home two important messages that are crucial to pass on to our kids. One, that “thin”—no matter how good it looks poolside or on the cover of US Weekly—can still be unhealthy. And, two: that being active might be the most important thing you can do for your health.

We’ve shared lots of ideas for keeping kids moving on this site, including teaching them silly, old-school neighborhood games, giving them access to great outdoor toys, and playing fun games en famile, from the driveway to the beach. For older kids, organized sports are obviously a terrific way to combine physical activity with a social outlet. But as we’ve noted before, kids who aren’t into the team thing can get the same physical and emotional benefits by participating in lower-stakes recreational games and less mainstream physical activities, like yoga or a running club.

The key: Teaching kids from very early on that physical activity is not only fun but helps you feel good—and most important, modeling that message ourselves. If you’re inclined to stick the scale in a back closet—and perhaps pull out the jump rope or hand weights you stashed in there sometime during the Bush administration—we’d be supportive of that too.

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Creating a Better Homework Space

March 4, 2016 by Kelley Leave a Comment

We all know routine is key for kids—and that’s especially true when an undesirable activity is a necessary part of the agenda. If you have children under age 7 or so, you’re probably thinking “bedtime”— in which case, it might be a good idea to file this story away and return to it in a couple of years. But if your kids are school-aged, you know I’m talking the dreaded H-word: homework. And unless you’re raising robots, I suspect you feel me on this one, at least some days.

A few months back, we did a post on whether parents should help kids with homework, and got some terrific insights from veteran teachers. While the teachers we polled were united in the belief that we shouldn’t get too involved with the “work” part of equation, they all felt it was important we get involved in the “home” part. That means creating a quiet, clean, and comfortable space in which children can be productive.

After some reading, researching, and interviewing experts, I’ve landed on three strategies that seem worth trying with my homework-averse 9-year-old:

5-Section Acrylic Tote, Container Store, $20

1. Select a dedicated, distraction-free space. According to Art Markman, a professor of psychology who blogs for Edutopia, any flat, clean surface in the house can work—as long as you can easily rid the space of attention robbers. If you have tech-savvy older children, he advises temporarily confiscating phones and tablets, and disabling messaging and Facebook during homework time. If you have younger children, that might mean making sure that younger siblings and tempting items—in our case, Legos and Rick Riordan books—are out of sight.

Aoneky Adjustable Jump Rope, Amazon, $11

2. Make sure necessary materials are on hand. If your child has to wander downstairs every time he needs a sharpened pencil or piece of lined paper, he’s apt to get sidetracked on the way. Jennifer Bardorf, the owner of Neatspaces, a professional organizing company in Wellesley, MA, recommends keeping kids’ work spaces continually stocked with pencils, good erasers, pencil sharpener and/or lead refills, colored pencils (or markers), a mini stapler, and additional paper. If your child is working at a desk with drawers, pick up some of these sturdy drawer dividers from the Container Store; if she is at a communal table, you can stock a clear caddy like this with all of the necessary supplies.

Gaiam Kids Balance Ball Chair, Amazon, $59

3. Allow some room for movement. A fascinating new study by Dutch researchers in Pediatrics adds to growing research that kids actually retain information better when they can wiggle around a little bit. “Information obtained by the body (during movement) appears to be effective for learning in childhood,” wrote lead researcher Marieke Mullender-Wijnsma in an email to me last week. “Plus, physical activity increases activity in the brain, which might cause enhanced “time-on-task” in academic lessons immediately after.” She says moving while learning is particularly helpful for homework that involves memorization and repetition, such as math facts or spelling; one trick she suggests trying is letting kids keep a jump rope near their work space and using it while they go over, say, their times tables. Fidgety kids may also benefit from swapping out a desk chair in favor of an exercise ball in their favorite color—it will allow them to keep their bodies busy while sitting, which may boost focus.

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What You Need to Know this Flu Season

January 26, 2016 by Kelley Leave a Comment

Ever since my oldest son got the flu twice in three years despite being vaccinated, I go on high alert for news about “flu activity” come late January, when the virus typically starts to ramp up in the northeast. The flu is no joke—kids with a history of asthma or other respiratory issues are at high risk for pneumonia with the virus. Even my healthy son was listless, coughing, and had an around-the-clock 103-degree fever for a straight week.

Vaccine scientists predict what flu strain will be most prevalent from year to year and design a formula accordingly, so even the experts don’t know until the virus peaks how effective each season’s shots have been. Here’s what we know so far—and how we can help keep our kids as protected as possible.

1. This flu season looks mild—so far. As of last week, overall flu cases are low compared to recent years. Just three states—Maryland, Massachusetts and North Carolina—reported “widespread” flu activity across the state, and cases were “minimal” or “low” in 47 states. This time last year, only 17 states had minimal flu activity. Last flu season, the estimated number of flu-associated hospitalizations of 970,000 people in the United States was the highest ever during a single season, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Many epidemiologists point to this winter’s warmer temperatures thus far as a partial explanation: Flu tends to circulate fastest in cold, dry conditions.

2. This year’s vaccine seems like a good match. The flu could be suffering from an even more formidable opponent than warm, humid conditions: a well-matched vaccine. Last year’s formula didn’t include coverage against the flu strain that wound up predominating for the better part of 2014-15. The 2015-16 vaccine covers either three or four strains of the flu, including the influenza A virus that’s striking people in greatest numbers thus far.

3. It’s not too late to get vaccinated. It takes about two weeks for the vaccination to set in, and since flu tends to peak in February and last through May, getting immunized now will cover you through the heart of sick season. While the vaccine isn’t 100 percent effective, it’s definitely your bet shot at either preventing the virus or shortening its severity and duration. I continue to vaccinate my kids even though my one son—for reasons doctors can’t definitively explain—has had an unlucky track record. Barring certain medical conditions, everyone 6 months and older should be vaccinated. Want to find the most convenient place to get your shot (or mist)? Check out this handy, searchable map. Most insurance plans cover shots in full, but vaccines are less than $50 (and at places like Costco, quite a bit less than that) out of pocket.

4. Good hygiene is as important as immunization. Getting kids in the habit of washing their hands—with regular soap—when returning home and just before eating can provide great defense. Keep alcohol-based hand sanitizer in your bag and the car and use a squirt after you’ve been in a well-trafficked place like the mall, a museum, or the library. And if they are hacking or feverish, do others a solid and teach them to cough into their elbows, even after the worst of their symptoms subside. Just as vaccines are as much a public service as personal protection, so are good hygiene habits.

5. If you suspect the flu, see a doctor right away. If your child runs a persistent fever, has headaches, is coughing, and/or feeling generally achy and unwell, flu is a possible culprit (even if he or she has been vaccinated). Make an appointment with the doctor sooner than later, since they can test for the flu easily and quickly. Once the flu is diagnosed, you can take extra care to keep your sick child away from siblings and other kids until their fever and symptoms subside; and if he or she is high risk for pneumonia or other complications, the doctor can possibly start your child on an antiviral medication that can reduce the flu’s duration and severity. But in most cases, ibuprofen or other fever-reducing medications (as well as plenty of rest, liquids, patience, and fun movies) will see sick kids—and tired parents—through a bout. For more ideas for keeping children comfortable during illness, check out HHK’s Sick Day Survival Kit.

photo credit: Influenza via Photo Pin, cc